So Cameron says he wants to form a government by Monday, not to grabble up power you understand, but for the good of the country.

Everywhere you turn, someone is bawling out 'the markets' like they're a living breathing creature that could turn on earthlings at any given moment and wipe us off the face of the planet. Sound-bites from people on road who didn't even vote, claiming we need to sort things out pronto to 'calm the markets'. A ninety-year old Tory battleaxe in one of the Shires insisting 'Dave' needs to sieze power expeditiously in order to 'reassure the markets'. Well I don't give a flying f---k about the markets! I'm assuming these are the same markets that we were never going to allow to wield so much power over us ever again?

Look, as the rap pioneers Public Enemy once warned us -'Don't believe the Hype!'. A fortnight ago we were led to believe that Nick Clegg was the new messiah; a year ago that Parliament risked being burned to the ground, such was public anger over the MP's expenses scandal. The truth is the Lib Dems have come out of the election with even fewer seats. And to prove just how unaffected people were by the expenses scandal, not only was the turnout higher than usual, but it was largely the incumbent candidates that were returned.

So, Clegg, take as much time as you need to chat with my man GB, the markets can wait. You've been hoodwinked by the hype once, don't fall for it again...